Juiced On Writing

Writing, as a blogger, and as a virtual writer, has its pitfalls. This week I fell. I should have seen it about to happen, especially after achieving a little success in my freelance writing over the weekend also. With one comes the other. Peaks and troughs, wins and losses.

As a blog writer, I’ve written for almost a decade, usually on my own themed blogs, but sometimes for websites, and sometimes for other blogs. I think, if I were to be honest with myself, blogging suits my own writing personality more than other forms. Blogs let me speak my mind, and go with a cause. I enjoy blogging immensely, otherwise you wouldn’t see this particular blog published up here.

Recently as I’ve moved into the virtual world that is Second Life, I’ve found (and sometimes dismissed, and more often, lost) some writing opportunities. This weekend saw me proofing my first real feature article, which is going to be published in a brand new magazine in Second Life. It’s my first fully freelance and paid-for gig, and I am grateful for a number of things concerning the transaction.

With previous magazines, I’ve not done so well. Communications have broken down, and at my age I’m not willing to pursue them. Most magazines in Second Life are calling out for more and more writers, and I’m becoming increasingly jaded about those that offer me something, then never get back to me. Or ones which I apply to work with, only to find they never read my application, and come to me a couple of months later. Others, more long-running, appear to operate more professionally, and I have a lot of respect for them. But their themes don’t fit mine. Finding a magazine which is a good match is harder than I originally thought.

Although I love clothes within Second Life, I have learnt that I have an interest in places, and architecture, and shopping, but with not so much a fashion theme. Fashion is covered very well by the plethora of magazines and blogs limited to this topic. That means finding a good magazine which is both willing to get back to me, and also willing to let me write on topics I’m actually interested in – is difficult.

But I did find one, and possibly more, which will allow me to form a minor freelancing side towards that in-world. With a bit of shaping, and practice, I hope that I might find myself a permanent writing position on those magazines, rather than slipping around freelancing. That’s another thing I’ve learnt about myself, and own writing style. I want to be considered part of a team, rather than as a freelancer, useful sometimes, but not wanted at others. It’s not the money for me that counts, it’s the chance to be part of something. Magazines in Second Life seem very transient but perhaps some can give me some sense of stability and effort with time.

Blogging is another matter. I applied for one new Second Life blog, advertising on a community for writers, and within the first week of publication, the owner of the blog handed over the reigns to a new editor, and I received no communications towards it.

At the same time, I took on a writing position with a second life blog known and loved by many. And it’s taken me a little while to find my feet, but I had several posts drafted up for this week to publish there. I felt proud to be a minor part of where that blog was going, although recognise that it was a character-led blog, voted as most popular because of the personality sitting behind it.

On Monday afternoon, when going to log onto Metaversally Speaking, I found a “So Long” post put up by the owner of the blog. Although I should have seen it coming, given some of the posts the previous week, I sat in shock for a few minutes. There were the inevitable comments under the post, understanding his feelings, and hoping he would come back after a hiatus. As I well do, not only for my own sake, but for that of the SL community which really does love the man.

What was shocking to me was the timing of it all in my own life, not the surprise in finding my own second life blogging gig vanish from me. Because, ironically that day, I’d made the decision to fully close-down my most long-running personal blog which I’ve let go dormant for several months, as a test (to see if I’d miss it – and I don’t). Having finally, after nine years, lost interest in the topic, I feel I can rest the thing without much attention. I’ve previously posted on that blog of mine something similar to the post found on MS – along the lines of needing a rest, being conscious of the negativity sometimes expressed about the controversies I dealt with.

It’s easy for me to say to Prad – “get a thicker skin”. But then I would be contradictory in myself, having lived that blogging life before with my own blogs. When the time’s up, it’s finally up. There is sometimes a point to leaving it go for a while, and coming back to see if you are refreshed – and for me, this worked for a couple of years, but once you’ve posted something like that, the writing is on the wall, no matter how long it might take to be made visible. And blogging in Second Life is a highly emotional effort. The whole place can sometimes get you down with it’s ability to move into controversy and adversity over only a day. On adding some of the many feeds on Second Life to my blog reader, I’ve got to say I’ve never struck such a controversial and bickering bunch in my life. There are roses amongst the thorns, of course, but the atmosphere in blogging which some produce leads to some impact on me – even when I’m just reading them.

Blogging is personal. Although Prad has suggested in his post that he hopes the other writers on the blog will keep it going, I seriously doubt his readers will want that. They read it for him, not for us. And over the last four days since the announcement, no other writer has posted on there.

So where does that leave me? That, indeed, is something to ponder about. Like Prad, I have a habit of opinionating (and putting myself out there) when blogging, and this can cause negativity aimed at myself. Over the years, I’ve grown a thicker skin, but it sometimes still hurts. Prad felt himself in the public eye too much. His readers followed him on the blog, in-world, and on other social networking services such as Plurk. His blog was recently voted most popular blog in Second Life. It doesn’t look like a good time to close it off, but from a personal viewpoint, I can fully understand the pressure that kind of attention brings.

Should I start up my own blog, based on second life? I don’t think this is an option, with so many other blogs out there, but it may well be one I’m forced into. I already have a dozen posts on various topics waiting to be worked up, and published, and nowhere to post them. Should I apply to write on another group blog? I have today gone back to that first blog I spoke of, which has lately started posting again. I hope they consider their options with me, because on reading it, I can see it may be a close fit to what I want to write about. And if they don’t? Then I’m looking for a group blog which will allow me enough room to post about second life places, shopping, chicken growing experiments and anything else that takes my interest. And perhaps the odd opinion blog – although I still remain with the hope that MS will provide me a home for that.

What I do know is that I enjoy the writing opportunities within Second Life, and despite the sheer adversity which is found in some blogs out there, I think there’s somewhere a home or so for my own blogging about Second Life. Give me a buzz if you know of such a place while I continue looking.

Image Credit: Lost keys by Davic on Flickr

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