Juiced On Writing

I don’t know whatever happened to bumper stickers around here. Perhaps they were overtaken by the capability to apply witty catchphrases to T-shirts rather than the mud-splashed rears of our automobiles.

I went looking for some of those phrases, anyway, in case I personally wanted to use them on my own set of products sold through CafePress. Not on bumper stickers, of course (although Cafe Press does do them) but applied to chests via T-shirts, to mugs and mousemats amongst other many other products.

What witty writing phrases are there out there? Feel free to add your own, whether funny or not.

1. I get paid to talk to the people in my head.
2. Quit work. Make Poems.
3. Just let me write that one down…
4. Write here. Write now.
5. Easy reading is damned hard writing.
6. I Do the Write Thing.
7. Writer Unblocked.
8. What would My Main Character do?
9. Will write for food.
10. Just wait until I’m Published!
11. Have pen, will travel.
12. I prefer to think of myself as “pre-published”
13. My muse can beat up your muse.
14. w.r.i.t.e.r.
15. Writer at Work
16. Careful, or you’ll end up in my novel.
17. Oh, this is so going into my next novel.
18. Ask me about my latest book.
19. Inventing ways to murder my characters is my specialty.
20. I Came, I Saw, I Wrote
21. I Write, Therefore I Am.
22. I’d Rather Be Writing
23. It Only Looks Like I’m Day Dreaming. I’m Actually Hard at Work at My Novel.
24. It’s not the size of your words, it’s how you use them.
25. Shut up and Write.
26. Writer’s Don’t Make Good Cooks.
27. Help! I’m a writer trapped in the body of a web surfer.
28. Caution. Writer at Work.
29. The Voices are getting louder. Must be time to write.
30. Will write for coffee.
31. Be Nice to Me. (Or I’ll put you into my novel)
32. Murder Your Darlings.
33. Two pages away from greatness.
34. It’s my novel and I’ll write if I want to.
35. I’m a writer, what’s your excuse?
36. Writers plot against people every day.
37. Not Now! My Muse is Busy.
38. Write that down!
39. Writing is not what I do – it’s who I am.
40. I’ve got the write stuff.
41. Whoever said writing was easy must have been on his first draft.
42. Of course that character isn’t based on you, honey. You’re not interesting enough to be in my book.
43. Instant writer. Just add coffee.
44. Always proofread. You might have something out.
45. Author on board.
46. The Dog Ate My Manuscript.
47. Never judge a book by its movie.
48. I’m out of my mind at the moment. Feel free to leave a message.
49. I’m collecting rejection letters. They’re the next big thing.
50. Writer in Residence (Available, Enquire Within).
51. I’m a famous writer (In my own head)
52. Writer’s Block – When Even Your Imaginary Friends Won’t Come Out to Play
53. If I drink enough coffee maybe the plot bunnies will come.
54. Blank page, I will thwart thee!
55. I love being a writer. What I can’t stand is the paperwork.
56. iWrite
57. Buy My Book. Damnit.
58. My muse has a restraining order against my inner critic.
59. Less sleeping. More writing.
60. I wrote about you.
61. Protagonist on a good day. Antagonist on the rest. Guess which one today.
62. I’m a professional writer. I tell lies to complete strangers for money.
63. Need coffee. Have deadline. Must write.
64. Writers do it with imagination.
65. Proud parent of future novelist.
66. Don’t make me get out the red pencil.
67. My hero can kick your hero’s butt.
68. Go away. I have a deadline.
69. Lit happens.
70. Touching pen to paper, I create worlds.
71. Ask Me About My Book.
72. Literary Diva.
73. Chicks dig writers.
74. I, Author
75. I read dead people
76. Logophile
77. We Write, They Wrong.
78. Just Write.
79. Web Writers do it online.
80. Starving Writer – Buy a Book to Support Me.
81. Writers do it between the sheets.
82. Undiluted Verbosity.
83. My life has been way too good to ever write fiction.
84. Write. Eat. Sleep. Repeat.
85. Write. Revise. Submit, submit, submit.
86. My other vehicle is a keyboard.
87. Muse for Sale. Will Consider All Offers.
88. Staff Writer. I can read between the lies.
89. It’s only a blank page until you write the first word.
90. I’m a mystery writer. I know 101 ways to cover up a murder.
91. Sticks and Stone may break my bones, but words will never hurt you. Yeah? Well you haven’t read my words yet, have you?!
92. Copywriter by day, superhero by night.
93. I be a poet.
94. Word Nerd
95. Let’s lowercase the drama.
96. Blog worthy.
97. My mummy is writing a book…but I still know how to get her attention.
98. My Life is Based on a True Story
99. Good writers avoid cliches…like the plague.
100. I only go out to get me a fresh appetite for being alone.
101. Writers get the last word.

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